Modern Art, Contemporary Art–whatever you want to call it–needs to be called out for what it is; untalented creations hidden behind pretentiousness consumed by the unknowlegable. Basically, people who can’t do shit, who act like their shit don’t stink, sell said shit to people who don’t know shit.

Modern Art Is Good
Let me begin by saying something that might seem like a contradictory step back. Modern art is good. No, really. Some of my most favorite pieces are modern art. Jackson Pollock is one of may favorite painters. Also, the fact that modern art tries to challenge the norms and express ideas and emotions is okay. Emphasis, okay. Modern art and all its preachy strangeness has every right to have its place in the art world. It just shouldn’t be at the vanguard that it’s been in the past one-hundred years.

Guernica (Picasso)
Guernica (Picasso)

Art, A Brief History
Art (the visual kind) is one of the most earliest ways humans communicated and shared ideas with each other. From cave drawings to religious imagery, art was always in the pursuit of creating something more accurate and beautiful. That’s it. Throughout the centuries man became better at the craft of drawing, painting, and sculpture to recreate not only the most lifelike of images (even those that were not real), but to also share these in the most beautiful way possible. With beauty as it is now and was then, always subjective.

Renaissance Period

Mona Lisa (da Vinci)
Mona Lisa (da Vinci)



Neoclassicism Period

Napoleon Crossing the Saint Bernard (Jacques Louis David)
Napoleon Crossing the Saint Bernard (Jacques Louis David)


Romanticism Period

Liberty Leading The People (Delacroix) Romanticism
Liberty Leading The People (Delacroix) Romanticism

So What Happened?
Dada. F*ckin’ Dadaism happened.
Before we go there, however, let us see how we got from classical art to the urinal that is Dadaism.
Once art reached the pinnacle of recreating images so real that, it felt as if you were looking at a photograph, where else could art go? Couple with that the invention of the camera, all of sudden accurate recreations on oil made less and less sense because it wasn’t pushing man to his higher creative limits. So the art world, starting in France, took a step backward.
Now, when I say backward, I do not mean that as an insult. In fact, the move that we call impressionism was and is fantastic. An amazing move by the arts world. Since we could recreate images already, why not make images appear from the non traditional straight-line and brush stroke? Why not create works of art from lines that gave an impression of what they were?
This deconstruction was brilliant. Giving us such greats as Monet and others. It opened the door that, art has always been there.
But then a toilet happened.
If you thought the earlier use of calling Dadaism a urinal was just colorful language on behalf of the author, you’d be wrong. This, is what Dada presented to the art world. This, is where art went.

Fountain (Duchamp)
Fountain (Duchamp)

A f*ckin’ toilet.

The Last Hundred Years Of Art
So what have we been given as art since Dada came on the scene? Lots and lots of brilliance, that’s for sure, but for the most part art has been garbage. While every year modern art has saved face by creating truly remarkable pieces, those are too few and far between. They are the proverbial pearl inside a sea of empty clams.

Then Who Creates This And Who Consumes It?
For the most part it’s created by people without talent and consumed by the naive. They do have something in common however; silver tongues that are laced in pride to stand by what they look at. If you don’t “get it” it’s because you’re too stupid, uneducated, or not deep enough of a thinker to get it. It has devolved into a pretentious clique mentality that too many people are eager to be a part of or too scared to challenge.
That’s really it. Art has now ballooned into a self serving lie that no one wants to admit to themselves that they are now a part of.
Let us compare what has happened to the visual arts if it were to happen to audible arts.
Everyone clamors and pains away at trying to “figure out” what the “artist is saying” in modern art. And many times, the artist does reach his or her goal. To shock. To make one feel uncomfortable. To make one question their beliefs. And you’ll here, all too often, that, “that’s what art is all about”.
F*ck. That.
That would be the same as listening to a speech and calling it music. Did the sound make you feel uncomfortable? Did it challenge the norms of what music is supposed to be? Did it create some shock? Yes, maybe it did, but that doesn’t make it music.
And that’s what modern art has become. Someone making fart noises for an hour while people look on in black framed glasses asking each other what the artist is trying to convey yet unable to because he’s so brilliant.
Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to write a 70,000 word novel called “The”. It’ll only consist of the word “the” 70,000 times. Don’t worry if you don’t get it. It just means you’re too stupid and small minded to understand the brilliance of what I’m trying to say in my book.

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