So today, on December 5th, NASA launched its first of upcoming rockets and new spaceships that will send men to Mars and possibly farther. The program, named Orion, was supposed to have its historic launch one day earlier, on the 4th. I spent months planning to see the launch only to have the mission “scrubbed” due to a stubborn wind gauge.

It would be a lie to say that I am not disappointed. I of course wanted to see my first, real life spaceship in action. I wanted to be part of human history. Instead, I received a knock on my hotel door from my dad saying he thought he heard the rocket while I slept.

Of course there is a part of me that’s bitter that I went across the country to see something, only to miss it. But it also gave me a great exercise in self reflection. What I was reminded was, I never need to be outcome dependent.

And for the most part, I wasn’t. I knew going into this that missions were scrubbed. I also knew that there was questionable weather going into the launch. Basically I knew in the back of my mind, that there was a real chance that there wouldn’t be a launch. And there wasn’t. Well, for me anyway.

And that’s when I was reminded of outcome dependency. One can’t put all their eggs into one thing. If you do, then the disappointment is only that much bigger. At the end of the day, I had the opportunity to spend quality time with my dad, and finally get to witness Kennedy Space Center.

Another thing that it reminded me of was of my friend who’s a hunter. When someone hunts, they just don’t go out and hunt. They scout, sometimes months in advance and more than not, several times. And that’s what this felt like, like a scouting mission. I learned a lot of what to do, and more importantly, what not to do for the next launch. Because I will be back. I think I finally understand why so many hunters continue to do what they do even though they face so much disappointment, time and again. When you set your eyes on a goal, and you don’t succeed, some people give up. For others, it just makes us want it even more.

So in four years time when I’m back at Kennedy ready to watch the SLS launch, I’ll be better prepared and, more importantly, even that more hungry to see a liftoff. And if I don’t, that’s okay too. Because I’ll keep coming back and enjoy the process of trying to witness it. You’re guaranteed a great outcome when you see the world not dependent on the outcome.

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